wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize