if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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