Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
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My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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