if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
