when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize