paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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