There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
