As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
