Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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