I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
