just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
