Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
