i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
