I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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