I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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