She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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