Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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