you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
