Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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