do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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