he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
