Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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