Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think i have two assholes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
