My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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