there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
