If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize
