ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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