Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
