That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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