Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
