So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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