i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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