Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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