I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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