I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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