There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
