i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
