he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
