I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
