drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
