great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
