she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
