Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
