I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
now i know why i became what i already was.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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