u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
