does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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