Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
