He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
