Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just cut my nipple shaving
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
