even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
