how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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