The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
