We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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