the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
