It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
