I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
