her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
