She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
