is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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