I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He shit in the fireplace
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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