It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
