y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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