Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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