Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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