A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
